Michael Vick, Dogslayer

Yesterday, the most overrated player in professional football just admitted his involvement with organized dogfighting, gambling over it, and viciously killing dogs who didn’t perform. He’s lost his career (for the time being), millions of dollars from endorsements, and the respect of millions of people.

Personally, I don’t give a rat’s tail about this. He should get whatever anyone else would, and the NFL has the right to do whatever the crap they want to about it. That some are talking about a cultural or racial element to his involvement is immaterial; I say, “big deal”. But it’s surprising just how vigorously people are denouncing this whole thing, and it centers around his abuse and execution of the dogs in question.

But it really shouldn’t be, because many today hold animals in as high regard as they do human beings. I know people who have a dog, treat it like a child, and actually won’t have children because the dog gives them fulfillment. These are the same sort of people who want animal abusers locked in jail for years on end. I personally have a major problem sending a guy to prison for years because of what he’s done to his dogs.

What I don’t have a problem with, however, is what someone once referred to as “ass-kicking laws”. I don’t remember who it was I first heard put it that way (most likely Neal Boortz), but if someone does something legally worthy of getting their butt kicked, people should have the right to beat the crap out of them. Robust judicial oversight could limit its abuse, and fines would be imposed based on the understandability of the beating. For example, you could apply such a statute to many activities, such as flag-burning, funeral protests, Klan marches, etc. While a Klan march isn’t necessarily illegal, only insufferable jerks participate in them. So any beatings administered against them would be subject to fines amounting to, say, ten bucks.

Forcing animals to fight and then killing them in such a manner as he is charged with doing actually demands harsher language than “insufferable jerk” to describe him, but he should have to take a beating for it. But I just don’t feel its a prison-level offense. Then again, it may be preferable to him. But at least as a quarterback he’ll have the option.

Pun intended.