Irrational Fury

Police Benevolence Fund, Pizza Sauce, Traffic Changes, Walmart Staffing

The inaugeral post in the category of Irrational Fury. Thanks to old associate Mike Miksch (responsible for the world-famous Superdickery site) who coined the phrase some months back.

Has anyone ever heard of the Police Benevolence Fund? I hadn’t, either, until they started burning up my phone lines over the past few months. Apparently, they’re a legal defense fund and political action arm for cops. In any case, I really don’t care. I only make a habit of putting money in two places: my financial accounts and the church offering plate. Why call me relentlessly when I’ve never given before? It’s only more irritating when they don’t bother leaving messages or even have the decency to have their name on the number that shows up on caller ID.

So I answer a call yesterday, and they ask if Marvin is home. I ask, as is customary for me, who’s calling. So then the woman on the other end rips into her spiel addressing me as Marvin…not knowing that no one by that name lives here or has in years. My dad died back in 2002, and my brother hasn’t lived here since something like 1990. So after she comes up for air, I tell her that I don’t know how they got my number, but that my name was not Marvin, I didn’t feel led to give to their cause, and I wanted my number taken off the list; and then I said goodbye and hung up.

Why isn’t pizza sauce in the same place as the spaghetti sauce in the supermarket? This is really weird to me, as the only difference between them is Italian seasoning and onion. This is something that’s irked me for quite some time. Where do they keep the stuff? It tends to differ from place to place. See, I don’t buy it that often, as I prefer the simplicity of the frozen whole pizza rather than making one, but it’s really retarded that I can never find it.

Getting around in town these days is a real hoot. They just finished remodeling and reopening an old opera house in town, in the vain hope that it’ll help revitalize the downtown area. My opinion is that it’ll revitalize it just like the other money sucking projects there (an unreasonably huge parking garage and a huge train station) have. None of these have made a dent thus far, only serving as a means to spend millions in tax dollars and necessitating overreaching expansion and annexation to pay for this stuff. So the latest project? In order to ease passage into town (which is inundated by one way streets), they’ve make some of them two way in certain sections. As if the streets in Meridian weren’t sorry enough to start with…now that everyone’s used to them, now they’re having new routes plugged in. Talk about irritation.

Finally tonight: shopping lanes at Walmart. How mentally competant is the management when you have one of the busier nights of the week and only seven lanes are open? Why can’t they get someone in there to check people out without having to stand around waiting thirty minutes to do so? I’ve left whole buggies in the lane before over this. That might make me a real jerk, but what’s one to do when you don’t want to loudly question said mental competance (and probable parentage) in the middle of a major retailer and run the risk of being escorted out. But seriously, in cases like this, somebody should be beaten in the head with a shopping cart.

All of the preceding fill me ith IRRATIONAL FURY. Thank you, and good night.


This on-again, off-again, would-be commentator proves that attitudes are contagious, and that some can even kill. To this end, every written word is weighed carefully to ensure the precise delivery of the author's intent while inflicting blunt force trauma to the psyche of the reader.

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