You should go see Transformers

The crowd wasn’t too heavy, but the line was from the lobby to the front door of the mall when I got there at 7:20PM…no supper for me. I was surprised to find one of the sister stations to the radio station I work for were doing a live remote and giving stuff away. Most of the people in line were what I’d call casual fans, which meant controlled enthusiasm and a distinct lack of body odor, and there were lots of people wondering what was up. “What’s this, Transformers? What’s it about?” “Giant CGI robots blowing stuff up and turning into cars for two hours.” We picked up a number of passers-by using this description.

When we were all admitted around 7:30, they had a trivia quiz and gave away a bunch of stuff…being one of the bigger TF nerds there, as I won a duffel bag, a Tshirt (a medium, so a nephew’ll be getting that), two hats, and a PS3 game (I was slow on the draw for the PS2 game, which I’d have preferred…if someone wants a PS3 game for half price, you might try PMing me). Using my nerdity for the greater good, I helped one of the guys in front of me win a Wii version of the TF game and the guy a couple seats down got a 3D puzzle by feeding them answers. If I hadn’t been in the very back I might have gotten a crack at the PS2 game, but anyway…I’m not hoggish.

Previews were pretty good…the Nicole Kidman movie looked like it’d be worth watching, but I’m really looking forward to Hot Rod…that got the biggest laughs. It’s like Evel Knievel meets Jackass.

Movie-wise, the movie was very well setup. I particularly liked the WWJD moment and Bolivia’s mama. As a few stray notes, Sam’s mom and dad are buttholes, Megan Fox is a stone-cold fox, Shia La Beouf was very likeable and sympathetic, and I’m totally sold on that gorgeous 2009 Chevrolet Camaro. In the second half with all the Transformers, I was amazed how Megatron and Optimus have their energon weapons from More Than Meets the Eye incorporated into their movie selves (okay, so Optimus’ axe is now a sword…close enough). I loved how, while the U.S. armed forces were overwhelmed most of the time, when they gained enough experience points they became an actual threat to the Transformers. Early on, the Decepticons seemed invincible, but with the Autobots with them they were able to be a real threat to them, and I was glad to see the military shown in a good light.

Complaint-wise, I’d have preferred the fights not be so up close and personal, with more shots pulled away so we can see them better…all the close-ups made it tough sometimes to figure out which robots were which. Of course, I’ve been bitching about the mechanical designs for months, but my major problem with them over the course of the movie was the fact that they’re indistinctive at such fast pacing. While the action was great, it was too drawn out for my tastes. Also, the Sector Seven guy needed killing. I don’t know if it was simply the writing of an obnoxious character or the work of a good actor, but I hated that jerk.

By the end of this movie, I seriously said a small prayer…”thank you, Lord, for allowing me to live to see a childhood dream realized.” I think all of us have thought about what a live-action version would be like since our earliest days of Transformania back in the eighties, and not only do we know, but they did a pretty good job of it.


This on-again, off-again, would-be commentator proves that attitudes are contagious, and that some can even kill. To this end, every written word is weighed carefully to ensure the precise delivery of the author's intent while inflicting blunt force trauma to the psyche of the reader.

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